Where to start?
First of all, thanks for the mental illnesses! Very appreciated! Not.
Anxiety and depression have taken a lot from me, particularly anxiety which I am still struggling with. This has caused a lot of shit, I’m not going to lie. However my anxiety has improved a lot over time which I am happy about. I have felt so much more confident this year and having a job and developing friends has helped a lot, and I absolutely have you to thank for that.
I have begged you for friends and for a job for years, but you never seemed to answer me. I can’t even begin to describe how sad and angry this made me and how disappointed I was in myself and you. But then one day this year, on the 26th of July, you finally helped. You gave me a great job and fantastic friends and I am thoroughly grateful for them. It feels so strange to actually have friends, and it feels even stranger that I am buying Christmas presents for them this year! I’ve never done that with friends before. I feel so included now.
Now I know that you weren’t ignoring my cries, you were waiting for the right moment to throw me into the world of work and friendship.
I remember you giving me two job interviews at the same time and this was one of the most stressful situations I have been in. I had a hard time deciding, but suddenly, you made sure that one of the interviews kept being delayed, and allowed me to take part in the other interview which I found interesting and enjoyable.
With the other interview being constantly delayed, the place I did an interview for offered me a job and I took it so fast and I am happy I did. It has changed my life, seriously.
I could go on and on about how you have thrown me into continuous stressful situations and how sometimes I dislike you for it. I hate how I have been through things that I wouldn’t wish others to go through, I hate how my last relationships with people have ended and I wish I had more of the things I’ve asked you for, however I need to realise that you, Life, is trying to teach me patience as well as gratefulness and seeing the signs and meanings in things. I am still learning how to do these things, but I think I’m getting on pretty well so far, and I thank you for that. I also thank you for pushing me headfirst into situations I am not comfortable with. I am recognising that this isn’t you necessarily being cruel to me, but showing me that I can get through anything. Thank you Life for being my mentor 🖤